Sardar SMS Jokes

Two Sardar stopped suddenly.
1st Sardar: OMG! My wife and 
my girlfriend coming together.
2nd Sardar: Mine too...


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How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from
the book when the teacher erases the board...


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Interviewer: Where were you born?
Sardar: Punjab.
Interviewer: Which part?
Sardar: What which part, whole body
was born in Punjab. “;-)


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Sardar’s wish : when i die,
I wanna die like my grandpa
who died peacefully in his sleep
not screaming
like all the passengers in the
car he was driving.....  


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Sardar and Pathan going somewhere together.
They found 1000 Rs. on the way.
Pathan: Let’s take 50/50.
Sardar: What will do of remaining 900? 


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Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar:
“Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.”


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Sardar told his servant:
Go and water the plants. Servant
it’s already raining. Sardar: So what?
Take an umbrella and go..... 

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Interviewer: Congrats, you are selected.
Your 1st month salary is Rs: 6000.
Next month salary will be 10000.
Sardar: Ok sir, I’ll Join next month....


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Sardar proposed a girl……
Girl said am 1 yr elder to u…….
Sardar said Oye no problem
soniye I’ll marry u next year....


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Sardar on phone: Doctor my wife is pregnant.
She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking.....


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strologer: you must married only 32
years old women to start a happy life.
sardar: shall I married two 16 years old girls..

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On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him,
“Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?”
Sardar : “Ya sure, from landline or mobile”. 


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As train start running,
a sardar got the train.
TT: Don’t you see it’s female bogie?
Sardar: Sorry, I thought you were a man.....


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Doctor to sardar : You will die within 2 hours.
Do you want to see any one before you die?
Sardar : Yes. A good doctor.....


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Teacher: “I killed a person”
convert this sentence into future tense
Sardar: The future tense is “You will go to jail”


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Sardar: I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Sardar: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him....

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A sardarji photographer is focusing
a dead body’s face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.
why? He said “SMILE PLEASE”  


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A bird was disturbing to a Sardar.
Finally Sardar caught it and decided to kill it cruelly,
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it...

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SARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With “MOTHER”
&
After Marriage
We Sleep With Our “WIFE....


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Sardar As A Director:
You Have To Jump In The Swimming 
Pool From 100.ft Height.
Hero: I Don’t Know Swimming
Sardar: Oye Don’t Worry Yaar! Pool Is Empty;-)


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Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!


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Sardar in airoplane going to Bombay.
While its landing he shouted:
“Bombay ….Bombay”
Airhostess said: “B silent.”
Sardar: “Ok… Ombay… Ombay”


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Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air..


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Sardar after interview
everything went fine till the time
he asked me for testimonials.
I guess i showed him the wrong thing !!! 

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Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank
Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine,
Happily they drank & went away.
Nxt day Headline:Blood Bank lutya gya....

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Sardar ji.. Says I Love u to his galfrend..
And suddenly falls on the floor...
GalFrnd.. What iz this?
Sarda Ji.. O ji, i'm falling in love )

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1st sardar: I am going ka kya matlab hota hai ?
2nd sardar: MEIN JA  RAHA HOON.
1st sardar: Aayse nahi jane doon ga pehle matlab bata..

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History Teacher : From where to

where did the mughals rule ?

Student: Sir, I am not sure but

I think from page 15 to 26....

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A friend asks sardar how was ur exam?

Sardar: It was ok but i couldnt answer past tense of THINK.

I thought, thought & finally i wrote 'THUNK'.

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One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar:

Any great man born in this village?

Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

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Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain.

Banta: Wow, Kab?

Santa: Meri 7 Dec ko aur uski 13 Jan ko....

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Sardar on phone: Maa khushkabri hai

Ma: bol beta

Sardar:hum 2 se 3 ho gaye

Maa: mubarak ho,beta hua ya beti?

Sardar: meri biwi ne dusri shadi karli...

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Ek sardar sochta raha,sochta raha aur yahi 

sochtay sochtay mar gaya ke agar meri behn

ke do bhai hain to mera ek kion hai.....

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son :- papa 5+5 kithane hote hai?

sardar:- aare ulluke pathe,idiot,rascal, tujhe kuch nahi aata,

ja andar se calculator leke aa batati hoo....

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Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.

Servant: It"s already raining.

Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go....

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sardar:tujhe bus mein thapar kun para?

2nd sardar:pata nhi yar,meri photo aik

larki k paon mein girgai,meine kaha k 

behan g zara saarii upar krna photo leni hai...

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Once a Sardar traveling in PIA.

Air hostess came and asked to Sardar

apko PIA ka mahool kaisa laga?

Sardar reply bilkul ghar jaisa.

Ghar pe bhi mujhe koi mun nahi lagata.

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Sadar to Thelewallah: yeh kele kaise diye?

Thelewallah : Ek rupay ka

Sardar: 60 p mein dega?

Thelewallah : 60p mein to sirf chilka aayega.

sardar : Oye! Chal ye leh 40 paise, chilka rakh, kela de de!!

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Santa kissed his girl friend in the park. 

Girl: Plz ye sb shadi se pehle…

Santa: Don’t worry darling, 

I'm already married.....

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One day Sardar was giving dictation to his tution.... 

Then last bench student told to Sardar that

"Sir we can't hear..."

Sardar: "OK! I will write it on the board..."

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A sardar and a doctor loved a same girl.... 

Every day Sardar gave her an Apple... 

One day the girl asked to him...

Girl: "Why r u giving me Apple everyday???"

Saradr: "Because an 

"Apple a day keeps a doctor away"...

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CID: Why criminals leave their

fingerprint aftr their wrk?

Sardar: Sir,I Think,they are

un-educated,if they were educated,

they would leave their signature for you..

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Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.

Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman....

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Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa

ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.

Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?

Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey....

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Sardar ko Uska Sasur peet raha tha.

WHY?

His Wife Delivered a Baby. Doctor

sent Him SMS,"Mubark Ho, Aap Baap Ban Gaye".

Sardar fwded it 2 all his frnds :-)

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Sardar Roz Apne Kitchen Mein Jata

Aur Sugar Box Kholta Aur Band Kar Deta Tha !

Why?

Kyon Ke Doctor Ne Jo Kaha Tha Ke

Apni Sugar Roz Check Karna.....

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Hitler to Sardarji: Impossible ka word

meri dictionery main nahin hai.

Sardarji: Te Ullo ke pathay dictionery

dekh k kharidni thi na...!

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2sardar jungle me,Samne sher a gya 1 

ne mitti uthai sher ki ankh me dal k 

bhagne lga.2nd wahen khara rha

1st:abhey bhag

2nd: me q bhagon,mitti tone dali hai....

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Sardar: Will u merry , after i die .

Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.

Wife : Will u marry , after i die .

Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister....

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Interviewer: What is your birth date?

Sardar : 13th October

Interviewer : Which year?

Sardar : damn fool _ _ _ EVERY YEAR...

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Teacher asks question to sardar,

"Which is the big animal, Ant or Elephant ?

Sardar : First tell me the date of birth of those animals....

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Interviewer : What is your qualification ?

Sardar : Ph.d sir.

Interviewer : What do you mean by Ph.d ?

Sardar : (Smiling) Passed Higher Secondary with difficulty !!

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Sardar goes for interwiew-

boss-tumhara janam kaha hua tha...

sarda-triruvantpuram mein....

boss-spelling batao.

sardar-nahi nahi Goa mein hua tha....

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SARDAR:: Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi
SON   :: kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar kay laya hoooon

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One day Sardar happened to
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one
runner.
"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!"
Exclaimed the Sardar


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 Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar and
hangs up


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Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."


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 A SARDAR IS SING A PATRIOTIC SONG-""EY MERE VATAN KE LOGON
JARA AAINKH MEIN BHAR LO PANI,
JO SHAHEED HUYE HAIN UNKEE,
TUSSI GHAR LE AAO "JANANI" "

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Sardar ji;
Bhagwan mujhe dard de,Dukh de,tention de,mujhe barbad kar de,mere piche BHoot laga de,
Bhagwan;abe sale ek line me bol ke biwi chahiye.

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Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR 



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Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ?
Sardar angrily said, i know -
it means....
S - Sardaron ke
M - Mazak udane ki
S - Service


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Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table &
says - What a shit ?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story
at all" ?.
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone
Directory....


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A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was
asked a question
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will
investigate


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Sardarji is filling up a job application...........................
He promptly fills in the lines on Name, Age, Addr,& etc.
Then came the column Salary Expected.....................
After much thought he writes: Yes.............................


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Ek sardar exame dene gaya to apnay saath palumber ko saath le kar gaya.
guess karo kyun le kar gaya?
aray yaar simple hai us ko yeh news mili thi k paper leage ho gaya. ha ha ha ha ha ha.



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 Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order, Surdar:Murgi di taang kithe hai? Waiter:Woh langra tha. Surdar: Dil? Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee. Surdar: Dimaag? Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha!!!


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Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun
to muje sirf awaaz sunaideti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.

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Santa’s wife hit him on the head with the frying pan. Santa: What was that for? Santa’s Wife: I found a paper in your pocket with the same BASANTI on it. Santa: I bet on a horse last week and BASANTI was the name of my horse. Santa’s wife: Oho Sorry
Next day she hit him with the frying pan again. Santa: now what happened? Santa’s wife: your horse is on the phone.

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Sardar ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi
upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?

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Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du? Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

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Santa: "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon". Banta: "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"

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Sardar: O Banno Car ki speed itani ky badha di..?
Sardarni: Oji Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, Exident ho jaye iske pahale ghar pahunch jaate hai.

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Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao.
Shopkeeper ne Flag Dikhaya,
Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.

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Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense. Santa: The future tense is "You will go to jail".

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Sir: Muhavre Ka Istemal Karo.


"Mun Me Pani Aana"


Sardar: Jaise Hi Maine Nal Ko
Muh Laga K Nal Chalu Kiya,


Mere Mun Mai Pani Aa Gaya. 

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 *Sardar: Beta 2 bistar kiun lagay?

Son: Ghr pe 2 guest ane hn.
Sardar: Kon?
Son: Ami ka bhai or mera Mamo

Sardar: Phr 1 or lga , mera sala bi a rha hai..:-)


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 Friend Sardar se: Me Tennis k barey me Tm sy Ziada Jnta hun.
Sardar: Acha te aey duss k Tennis de Net wich kinnay Moray honday ne 

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 Srdr:Aj mn ne tmhari BV ko nhate hwe dekha!

4nd:kuty kminy, tmhen shrm nhi ai,
tmhri bhabi hy wo

Srdr:Aby kuty k putr, mn nehr mn nha rha tha or wo ja rhi thi

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 1 admi bike pe ja raha tha.
Admi ne rastey pe jatey Sardar se poucha?
Sir! Apko lift chahey kia?
.
.
.
.
Sardar:Nahi hamara ghar tou Ground floor pe hai.:

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Circus ka maalik Sardar ko dante hwe: Be parwai ki b hadd h0ti hai tune SHAIR ko khula ch0r dia

Sardar: Is se kia farq parta hai SHAIR ko kon chori kare ga.;-)


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Aik sardar ko exam my koi swal nahe ata tha,srdar ny hr swal ky nechay |||||||||||| lines laga de or likha


Scratch kr ky anser prh lein... :-O;-)

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Sardar was arrested 4 a road accident
Judge : how did accident occur
Sardar :I don't know sir I was sleeping... ;->


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Sardar: Yar Sooraj Raat Ko
Kyu Nhi Nikalta?

2nd Sardar:
kia pata nikalta bi ho
andhera itna hota hy k dikhai kuch nhe deta.

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 Sardar amrud bech rha tha..
.
1 admi aya or bola, Sardar g agr amrud me kira nikla to?

Sardar: To saaf baat hai... hum kirey k alag pese lega...

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Teacher: India ka jhanda sub se pehle kahaN lehraaya gaya?

Sardar ( kaafi sochne k baad ) :
Hawa meiN 


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A Sardar joined army, given AK 47.
He's puzzled & asks Major: Sir, yeh bandook ki nali samne rakhun ya ulta?
Major: Kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga.

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Sardar Ji as a Director:
You should jump to the Swimming Pool from 100 Ft Height
Hero: I don't know Swimming.
Sardar Ji: Oye don't Worry Yaar! Pool is Empty...

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Sardar proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi?
Girl: Tameez se baat karo.
Sardar: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge?

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Sardar selected a short girl to marry.
Why?
Because guru ji told him
Musibat jitni choti ho utna acha hai ?

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Sardar: Darling, main tu se shaadi nahi karsakta. Gharwale mana karrahe hai.
Girlfriend: Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai.
Sardar: Ek biwi aur 3 bacche...

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Ek Sardar sochta raha...sochta raha... sochta raha...
Saari zindagi sochta raha
Aur sochtay sochtay hi mar gaya
Ki meri Behan k 3 bhai hain to mere 2 kyun?

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Beggar: Oh sundari, andha hoon, paanch rupya de de.
Sardar to his wife: De de, De de, tujhe sundari bola hai to har haal main ye andha hai.

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A sardar went to Pizza Hut.
There he ordered a Pizza.
The Waiter asked him:
Sir shell I cut it into 4 pieces or 8 pieces.
Sardar replied:
O 4 hi le aa yaar,
8 to nahin khaye jayein gay

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Sardar proposed a girl……
Girl said am 1 yr elder to u…….
Sardar said Oye no problem
soniye I’ll marry u next year.

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Santa: Tumhara Shop Ka Doodh Kharab Hai

Shrbat Me Dala Pht Gya

Dudh Wale Ne Pocha

Konse Sharbat May Dala Tha?

Santa : LIMOO PANI Me..!

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Sardar Kisi Larki Ghar Rishta Ly Kar Gya

Larki K Maa Baap Bole Humari Beti
Abhi Parh Rahi Hai...

Sardar:Koi Bat Nhe Hum
Ek Ghante Baad A Jauengy.

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Sardar ko ek Dost ne
1st April
ko Ghar khane pe Bulaya , Ghar pe Tala tha aur Likha tha
"Bevkuf Banaya haha"
Sardar ne niche likha
"HUM AYE HI NAHI hahaha"

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Sardar k bivi bhag gai

3 din bad wapis aye
Sardar Gusay se bola: hun ki lern ayen hain
Sardarni: mobile da charger pul gai si.

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