02. Principal --------------- Jaani Dushman
03. Classes -------------- Kabhi kabhi
04. Canteen-------------- Kabhi alvida na kehna
05. Course----------------Godzilla
06. Exams ---------------- Kalyug
07. Examination hall---- Chamber of secret
08. Exam-time ----------- Qayamat se qayamt tak
09. Question paper ----- Paheli
10. Answer paper ------- Kora kagaz
11. Cheating ------------- Aksar/chupke chupke
12. Paper out ------------ Plan
13. Examiner ------------- The killer
14. Last exam ------------ Independence day
15. Paper correction ---- Andha kanoon
16. Marks ----------------- Assambhav
17. Result ----------------- Murder
18. Pass ------------------- Ajjoba/ chamatkar
19. Fail --------------------- Devdas
20. Supplementary ------ Aakhri raasta
21. Vacation -------------- Waah life hoto aisi.....
***************
Master ji studnt se bole koi ashiqi wala sher sunao.
Studnt-kutta marta haddi pe,
bhuka marta roti pe,
masterji tumhari do beti hai,
par mai mrta hun choti pe....
******************
Teacher asks children,
what do u wish 2 do in future?
Vinod: I want 2b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa....
******************
Papa- Beti 12th K Bad Kya Karogi?
Beti- B.B.A Karungi.
Papa- Wat is BBA!
Beti- Boyfriend Ki Bike Pr Aish ..!
*******************
Munn Bhai: College ka fulform kya hota he Circuit?
Circuit: Boleto bhai,
C-come
O-on
L-love
L-lets
E-every
G-girl
E-every day
Bhai!!
************************
Teacher- “PYAR” or “ISHQ” mein kya frk hai?
Stud – Sir”Pyar”wo hai jo aap apni beti se karte hai.
or “ISHQ” wo hai jo hum aapki beti se krtey hai...
*********************
Sir: Achha Insan Wo Hi He Jo Dusro K Kaam
Aaye
Santa: Par Madam
Exam Me Na Aap
Humare Kaam Aati Hai
Aur Na Hi Kisi Aur Ko
Aane Deti Hai....
*********************
SANTA Class Me 1 Donkey Le Kar Aaya
Tacher: Iss Ko Kyu LaYe Ho?
SANTA: Sir Aap ne hi to Kaha Tha Ki Aap
Gadhe Ko Bhi Insan bana dete ho..
*********************
PC hai net Nahi,
ATM Hai paise Nahi,
Cell Hai balance Nahi,
EXAM hai tension Nahi,
Padna hai, lekin saala mood Nhi!!
******************
Sir to Student:
“What is the full form of MATHS?”
student thinks hard & answers,
“Mentaly Affected Teachers Harming students” !
*****************
Teacher: Gandhi Jayanti k baray mein kya jantey ho?
Stdnt: Gandhi solid aadmi tha,
par maa kasam apun ko ye nahi malum k ye Jayanti kaun thi....
****************
What Is The True Meaning Of STUDY … ???
S . Sleeping
T . Talking
U . Unlimited Sms
D. Dreaming
Y. Yawning....
*****************
PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein
gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu.....
********************
Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai
to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega,
par mere baap ka bigad jayega.....
*********************
An engineering student to his sweeper brother:
I have got degree, I have got knowledge,
I can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job....
*******************
IMPORTANCE OF PERCENTAGE
BOY-tumhare 12th me kitney percentage the?
GIRL-97%
BOY-Baap re
Itney me to kisi gareeb k 2 bacche pass ho jate...
********************
A ThermoMeter is n0t the 0nly thing
that gets a “DEGREE” without having a “BRAIN”…! :p
..
A silent msg f0r all studnts;-)
*******************
Woh aaye hum dekhte rahe
Woh muskuraye hum chup rahe,
Woh kehte rahe humne suna nai,
Jab wo chale gaye hum chillaye-
“Sir Attendence”
*********************
8 semesters are there
80GB syllabus
80MB we study
80KB we remember
80 Bytes we answer
BINARY marks we get,
The Degree finally we get is BE
That is Brain Empty (B.E)
*********************
Life of a college student:
Wallet hai, paise nahi
Lecture hai, attendance nahi
Mobile hai, balance nahi
Friends hai boyfriend ya girlfriend nahi
Exam hai, tension nahi
Padhna hai, mood nahi
*********************
Baap:Bete tune collage me sabse muskil kam konse sikhe?
Beta:2 muskile sikhe hei: 1 danto so bear ki bottle kholna, 2 tez tufan me 1 tilli se cigarate jalan
*********************
*********************
College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?
*********************
BOY-tumhare 12th me kitney percentage the?
GIRL-97%
BOY-Baap re
Itney me to kisi gareeb k 2 bacche pass ho jate...
********************
A ThermoMeter is n0t the 0nly thing
that gets a “DEGREE” without having a “BRAIN”…! :p
..
A silent msg f0r all studnts;-)
*******************
Teacher:
main ksi pr b 1 nazar dal k bta
skti hun k wo mere bare mai kya soch rha he
Studnt
mis jb ap ko pata chal jata hoga
to bari sharmindagi hoti hogi na..:
*******************
Master:
Khali jaga pur karo..
900 chohay kha kar Billi___chali..
Shagird: 900 chohay kha kr Billi Matak Matak kr chali..
Master(Ghusse se)
Kharay ho jao, mazak krty ho?
Shagird: Sir ye B mene ap ka dil rkhne k liye keh dia warna
900 chohay kha kr Billi chal to kya Hil b nhi sakti…..!
********************
Govt.School K Bachy Kisi Ko Ghaseet K school Le Ja rahy Thy.
1 Buzurg : Bachon! IsKo Chor Do Ye Khud School Ayega
Bachy: Baba Ye Shagird Nhi Hamary Ustad Hen.....
*******************
Ek Student Dusre Se:
“Aaj Kuch khatarnak Kaam Karne Ka Mann Kar Raha Hai,
jo pehle hum ne na kia ho”
2nd Student:
To Phir Chal Thora sa Parh lain.”.
********************
Headmaster: Aap Bacho Ko Bheek Maangna Q sikha rahe Hain?
Teacher: Shayed In Bacho Mein Se b Koi
Pakistan Ka Sadar Ban Jaaye… ;->
samj tu gaye hoge papu.. =P....
*******************
*********************main ksi pr b 1 nazar dal k bta
skti hun k wo mere bare mai kya soch rha he
Studnt
mis jb ap ko pata chal jata hoga
to bari sharmindagi hoti hogi na..:
*******************
Master:
Khali jaga pur karo..
900 chohay kha kar Billi___chali..
Shagird: 900 chohay kha kr Billi Matak Matak kr chali..
Master(Ghusse se)
Kharay ho jao, mazak krty ho?
Shagird: Sir ye B mene ap ka dil rkhne k liye keh dia warna
900 chohay kha kr Billi chal to kya Hil b nhi sakti…..!
********************
Govt.School K Bachy Kisi Ko Ghaseet K school Le Ja rahy Thy.
1 Buzurg : Bachon! IsKo Chor Do Ye Khud School Ayega
Bachy: Baba Ye Shagird Nhi Hamary Ustad Hen.....
*******************
Ek Student Dusre Se:
“Aaj Kuch khatarnak Kaam Karne Ka Mann Kar Raha Hai,
jo pehle hum ne na kia ho”
2nd Student:
To Phir Chal Thora sa Parh lain.”.
********************
Headmaster: Aap Bacho Ko Bheek Maangna Q sikha rahe Hain?
Teacher: Shayed In Bacho Mein Se b Koi
Pakistan Ka Sadar Ban Jaaye… ;->
samj tu gaye hoge papu.. =P....
*******************
Apni khuddari ki bina par ham college nahi jatay thay…
Shauk-e-deedar ne hamay regular student bana dia....
**********************
Shauk-e-deedar ne hamay regular student bana dia....
**********************
School main Aag lag gayi
Sab bachy khush thay k ab skööl nahi Ana pary ga par 1 bacha udas tha,
ustad ne pucha Beta y r u sad?
Bcha:
Sir Aap to zinda bach gaye....
****************
Lady Teacher:
What tense is this
“I m a beautiful woman.’
Student:
Past tense Madam.....
******************
Teacher:
Translate into english:
in barishon se dosti achi nhi fraz
kacha tera mkaan hai, kuch to khyal kar
Sardar:
Frndshp wid these rains is not gud fraz,
How cheap iz ur home, behave urself....
**********************
What tense is this
“I m a beautiful woman.’
Student:
Past tense Madam.
Sab bachy khush thay k ab skööl nahi Ana pary ga par 1 bacha udas tha,
ustad ne pucha Beta y r u sad?
Bcha:
Sir Aap to zinda bach gaye....
****************
Lady Teacher:
What tense is this
“I m a beautiful woman.’
Student:
Past tense Madam.....
******************
Teacher:
Translate into english:
in barishon se dosti achi nhi fraz
kacha tera mkaan hai, kuch to khyal kar
Sardar:
Frndshp wid these rains is not gud fraz,
How cheap iz ur home, behave urself....
**********************
Teacher :qayamat k din zaminphat jaye
gi asman tukre tukre hojaye ga garz
hr cheez fana ho jy gi.
Sardar: sir to kia us din school ki chutti hogi.....
***************
1 nursery CLASS ka bacha bola:
madam me aapko kaisa lagta hu?
Mam:SO SWEET
BACHA apni side K LADKE se bola:
dekha maine kaha tha na
line marti hai…
***************
gi asman tukre tukre hojaye ga garz
hr cheez fana ho jy gi.
Sardar: sir to kia us din school ki chutti hogi.....
***************
1 nursery CLASS ka bacha bola:
madam me aapko kaisa lagta hu?
Mam:SO SWEET
BACHA apni side K LADKE se bola:
dekha maine kaha tha na
line marti hai…
***************
Teacher: Test yad hy?
Student: Jase he prhne betha to light chali gai,
Student: Jase he prhne betha to light chali gai,
bad main is dar se parhne nahin betha k meri
waja se phir light na chali jaye.....
******************
******************
A Student
Wrote A Letter To His Father From Hostel:
Dear Dad! No Money, No Fun! Ur Son!
His Father Replied:
Dear Son,So Sad, Very Bad!Ur Dad…..!!!!!
******************
Teacher: water ka formula btao
Student:H2 MgCl Nacl HNO3O
Teacher:ye kia ha
Student:sir ye India ka pani hai....
*********************
Lady Teacher:Wrote A Letter To His Father From Hostel:
Dear Dad! No Money, No Fun! Ur Son!
His Father Replied:
Dear Son,So Sad, Very Bad!Ur Dad…..!!!!!
******************
Teacher: water ka formula btao
Student:H2 MgCl Nacl HNO3O
Teacher:ye kia ha
Student:sir ye India ka pani hai....
*********************
Modern Dictionary for Students:
*Muhbt: Jske Dam Se Restaurants Abad Hain.
*Talib-E-Ilm: Mustqbl Ka Be Rozgar Tabqa.
*Parda: Jse Khawaten Khirki Pe Dalti Hain.
*Kitab: Wqt Zaya Krne Ka Zaria.
*Dil: Bgher Operation K B Ksi Ko Dye Jaskte Hain.
*College: Tafre Gah,
*University: Lover Se Milne Ki Jagah…
**********************
Hamari New Generation Miss Ne
KG1 Class K Bache Se Kaha
1 Se 10 Tak Gino Me Tume Kiss Dungi
Baccha: Aagr Me 1 Se 100 Tak Ginu
to Kya Package Hai...
*********************
**********************Muhbt: Jske Dam Se Restaurants Abad Hain.
*Talib-E-Ilm: Mustqbl Ka Be Rozgar Tabqa.
*Parda: Jse Khawaten Khirki Pe Dalti Hain.
*Kitab: Wqt Zaya Krne Ka Zaria.
*Dil: Bgher Operation K B Ksi Ko Dye Jaskte Hain.
*College: Tafre Gah,
*University: Lover Se Milne Ki Jagah…
**********************
Hamari New Generation Miss Ne
KG1 Class K Bache Se Kaha
1 Se 10 Tak Gino Me Tume Kiss Dungi
Baccha: Aagr Me 1 Se 100 Tak Ginu
to Kya Package Hai...
*********************
Dil chahata hai aaj phir chota ban jau,
roz subah subah chutti ke bahane banau,
aur assembly mein aankhe khol ke prayer gau,
woh class meein chupke chupke tiffen kholu ,
aur pakade jane par pet dard ka jhooth bolon,
din bhar school mein masti maru aur bas mein juniors pe rob jhadu,
woh har din homework adhura reh jaye,
aur agle din meri copy ghar rah jaye,
har roz doston se rooth jau par zindagi bhar sath nibhane wala ek dost banau....
************************
Ghajini Dekhne k Bad Andaza Hua k Hum Bhi Amir Khan Se kum Nhi Hai
Hum Bhi Padhta Hay
Samajhty hain
Phir 15 Min Bad sab Bhool Jaate hain....
******************
Son:Me School nahi jaunga
Mom:kyu?
Son:Naukri krunga
Mom:4thClass padhkar kya Kam karoge?
Son:3rd class ki ladkiyo ko tution padaunga;-)
********************
roz subah subah chutti ke bahane banau,
aur assembly mein aankhe khol ke prayer gau,
woh class meein chupke chupke tiffen kholu ,
aur pakade jane par pet dard ka jhooth bolon,
din bhar school mein masti maru aur bas mein juniors pe rob jhadu,
woh har din homework adhura reh jaye,
aur agle din meri copy ghar rah jaye,
har roz doston se rooth jau par zindagi bhar sath nibhane wala ek dost banau....
************************
Ghajini Dekhne k Bad Andaza Hua k Hum Bhi Amir Khan Se kum Nhi Hai
Hum Bhi Padhta Hay
Samajhty hain
Phir 15 Min Bad sab Bhool Jaate hain....
******************
Son:Me School nahi jaunga
Mom:kyu?
Son:Naukri krunga
Mom:4thClass padhkar kya Kam karoge?
Son:3rd class ki ladkiyo ko tution padaunga;-)
********************
Ek larka doctor say: lagta hai ma andha ho gya hon
Doctor nay uski ankhon ko check kia
Or kaha nahi beta tmhari ankhein tu theek hain.
Larka. Tu phir newspaper me
Mujhay Passed Students ki list mein maira roll number kyun nazar nahi aa raha ?
**********************
Students Marte Nahi
Zinda Dafnaye Jate He
Hr 4 Mhino Me Tadpaye Jate Hai,
Kfan Khol K Dekho
Wo Kabar Me B
Asignment Likhte Hue Paye Jate
Doctor nay uski ankhon ko check kia
Or kaha nahi beta tmhari ankhein tu theek hain.
Larka. Tu phir newspaper me
Mujhay Passed Students ki list mein maira roll number kyun nazar nahi aa raha ?
**********************
Students Marte Nahi
Zinda Dafnaye Jate He
Hr 4 Mhino Me Tadpaye Jate Hai,
Kfan Khol K Dekho
Wo Kabar Me B
Asignment Likhte Hue Paye Jate
What tense is this
“I m a beautiful woman.’
Student:
Past tense Madam.
Woh aaye hum dekhte rahe
Woh muskuraye hum chup rahe,
Woh kehte rahe humne suna nai,
Jab wo chale gaye hum chillaye-
“Sir Attendence”
*********************
8 semesters are there
80GB syllabus
80MB we study
80KB we remember
80 Bytes we answer
BINARY marks we get,
The Degree finally we get is BE
That is Brain Empty (B.E)
*********************
Life of a college student:
Wallet hai, paise nahi
Lecture hai, attendance nahi
Mobile hai, balance nahi
Friends hai boyfriend ya girlfriend nahi
Exam hai, tension nahi
Padhna hai, mood nahi
*********************
Baap:Bete tune collage me sabse muskil kam konse sikhe?
Beta:2 muskile sikhe hei: 1 danto so bear ki bottle kholna, 2 tez tufan me 1 tilli se cigarate jalan
*********************
A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B.
*********************
College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?
*********************
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